The College App-ocalypse

College applications offer the rare, almost sacred, opportunity to make a life-changing decision independently, with all of the consequences and benefits falling onto the teen who makes them. Where might you find one of these teens? Developing carpal tunnel from scrolling through the CommonApp, crying over typos, and looking for the eighth iteration of their very, very condensed resume, of course. It’s official: your favorite teenager (me) is applying to college.

With every essay written and message drafted, my Sylvia Plath fig tree of opportunity grows new branches hung with wool coats and with figs plump with city aspirations or quiet country nights. Figs shaped like boys washed with Oribe shampoo or buoyant with Coors, figs wearing office job pencil skirts or wild with jasmine. But the tragedy of the college application process is not just in the factor of decision making—it is the anticipation of having the control to decide which is bound to be followed by a swift taking-back.

Rejection, in any case, is inevitable. With every letter of rejection and left on “Delivered,” we will watch as the branches are lopped off, one by one. We all might starve at the crux of the tree, skipping lunch to finish late homework in order to maintain the grades to stay stuck where we are between the dying branches and rotting figs. We will chase what we once sought with whatever slim pickings remain.