The Female Gays

My Girlfriend's Ex And I: The Woes Of Online Stalking

Dissecting whether late-night stalking my partner's ex is a" is-she-prettier-than-me" investigation, or something else all together.

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The Female Gays is a monthly column about queer women in pop culture, including but not limited to horny doritos ads, Jojo's Siwa's Disney trauma, Tiffany "New York" Pollard's queer TV show, the most recent straight actresses to play gay, lesbian Super Mario characters, and Cate Blanchett.




It’s 11:57 p.m., my eyes are heavy and desperate to close, but I Clockwork Orange them open to scroll through another few rows of her tagged photos. She roller skates? With every swipe, I regret going deeper. Next time I check, she’ll be heli-skiing. At this point, I know where she grew up and what she does for a living and who she’s dating now. I’m basically in a throuple with her and her new partner, but they don’t know it.


My thumb slips, and I like a photo from 2015. But it’s tagged;, does that count? Will she see that? I frantically Google, “Can people see you liked a photo they were tagged in?” The very first result assures me they can’t. Phew. Stalking your new girlfriend’s ex is not for the faint of heart.

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