I Couldn't Help But Wonder...

Carrie's Fiasco: ‘And Just Like That...' Recap

Never forget the saying: what goes around comes around.


I Couldn't Help But Wonder... is a column that recaps the show we love to hate and hate to love: "And Just Like That"

I love that we’re starting this column on episode 3, which is historically the most boring episode of a season. Before we get into it (it wasn’t that boring!), a quick recap on last week’s premiere: Carrie is sleeping with people again, LTW, Nya, and Seema are getting actual storylines, Miranda and Che are in LA having lots of sex, clearly written by people who have never had sex. Most importantly, did you know that the actor who plays Harry is named Evan in real life? That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. I won’t go into that further right now, but I’m happy to chat about it privately.

We begin Episode 3 on 5th Avenue, it doesn’t get more concrete jungle where dreams are made of than that! Lisette, Carrie’s extremely beautiful downstairs neighbor, is setting up for her big jewelry show. We get our first product placement of the episode, and it’s Bulgari– obsessed with that. This scene is necessary for one reason, and one reason only, and it’s when Carrie says, “Cocktails and a tent? That’s ma’ wheelhouse.” I love when she has a twang. It’s also where we learn that Carrie will be recording the audiobook of her memoir, “Loved & Lost.”

Cut to Seema, probably my favorite new addition to the show; I love her husky voice and penny-colored car. She gets robbed in broad daylight and all the passersby kind of Kitty Genovese-her while this man runs off with her Birkin. We’ll return to her and her storyline almost precisely 25 minutes later because now we’re in an auditorium where Lisa Todd Wexler and Charlotte are learning about “an incident that’s put the entire Arbor School community at risk”–a MILF list. Both LTW and Charlotte want to get their perverted little paws on this list, and based on a look from the other moms and the principal, we learn that they’re kind of the trouble-makers of the PTA.

“Most importantly, did you know that the actor who plays Harry is named Evan in real life? That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard.”

In the recording booth, we discover Carrie loves popping her P’s. Babe, maybe if ya popped your P last week, that entire podcast network wouldn’t have crashed and burned. There’s an odd bit about one of the sound-engineer having BO, and then we find out that they booked the room for five days because they want her to have enough time to relive the worst trauma of her life. I think I speak for everyone, including Carrie Bradshaw, when I say bring back the narrations and drop the audiobook. All the audiobook scenes are so sad! Even Ira Glass-in-Stanford drag (her producer) seems to think it’s too much.

Just when the mood is dropping, and I think, “I need me some Che,” there they are. Poor Miranda thought navigating a strap-on was hard, and now she has to run sides? Che is very on edge about having to cry on cue, being called a Little Cannoli, and having to do “ten lame they/them jokes,” which is verrrrry dot dot dot. Miranda has an Android, and for a brief moment, I thought this was because Apple considers her to be a villain, and then I remembered she lost her phone last episode. I do love the idea of Apple being so fiercely team-Steve (omg…Steve Jobs…) that they are like, sorry, we can’t be associated with her.

Nya finally shows up, and while I’m not in love with her character, I hope that her newfound giggly horn-doggedness means we’ll be getting to know her better. She goes to second base in public with the sound guy. This episode is OBSESSED with sound guys, which is huge for sound guys everywhere. We get our first four-gal lunch of the episode with Charlotte, Carrie, Nya, and LTW. LTW gets the MILF list from someone named “SJ” Sarah-Jessica? Is that you? LTW and Char are number two and three on the list; first is a step-mom which Charlotte thinks is problematic because she’s not a real mom. Normal behavior from a woman who adopted! Nya wants to talk about abortion rights until her phone dings from Brian, the sound guy.

“I think I speak for everyone, including Carrie Bradshaw, when I say bring back the narrations and drop the audiobook.”

After another devastating audiobook session, Carrie runs into Bitsy Von Muffling at the place I used to get nail art done. I completely forgot that we saw her in season 1 of AJLT, so when she started talking about grief, I was shocked that Nathan Lane (Bobby) had died. I found this scene touching; I think it’s important for Carrie to have some friends who have dealt with grief. Bitsy’s advice leads to some retail therapy for Carrie. I love a return to form! None of this matters because the raison d’etre of this episode is Carrie fakes COVID. I feel like this is the first show to do a faking-COVID bit, and I love it.

We quickly toggle back to LA, where Miranda is considering getting a tramp-stamp of the Jetson’s robot maid. She’s become so trusting out West that Carrie and I think it’s time for her to return to the city. Carrie keeps up with the COVID-lie, which spreads to Charlotte–how’s she gonna get out of this one?

Back at The Arbor School, the board has figured out that Milo H. created the MILF list. Charlotte sticks up for Milo H., pointing out that he’s “just a little boy!” This is followed by a slow-motion reveal where all the women ogle the little boy. We find out the H stands for “Hot.” LTW asks, “Why do I feel like Blanche DuBois?” Hon, it’s giving Mary Kay LeTourneau.

“None of this matters because the raison d’etre of this episode is Carrie fakes COVID. I feel like this is the first show to do a faking-COVID bit, and I love it.”

I am getting full-body hives remembering what comes next: Miranda is in line for the pilot taping of Che Pasa when she gets a call from Brady on her Android. It turns out he and his girlfriend broke up, and he’s feeling sui. I did feel a pang when she asked if he’d talked to his dad, and he said, “Yeah, but I really wanted you!” Poor Brady! Miranda is understandably distraught and therefore proceeds to make demented choices. Phones (even Androids) are strictly forbidden in the taping, but since she’s waiting for Brady to call her back, she hides hers in her waistband. “You wanna be non-binuree? Be non-binuree!” That’s how Tony Danza pronounces non-binary. The audience loves Che Pasa, and I think Che is a good actor!! Sara Ramírez can’t help but drop in. Surprise, surprise, Miranda’s plan backfires and right when the scene is getting good, she accidentally Skypes Brady causing the blue-haired showrunner to scream a lot really hurtful things. The whole thing is very The Comeback (give them another take!). Tony Danza calms down the crowd; I guess he IS the boss :). Che and Miranda have a confrontation where Che once again proves to be an awful partner. Obviously, Miranda skyping her son during your pilot is bad, but have some compassion!!! Then the writers make Miranda say “yucky.” It’s dark.

Carrie and Seema go to Lisette’s jewelry event, which gets robbed. Is it just me, or has Carrie been robbed like 60 times throughout this franchise? Carrie screams, “I have COVID!” from inside a plastic bubble, and everyone runs out, which made me laugh. I simply LOVE to be able to laugh at COVID (more on that later). Miranda gets MH tattooed on the inside of her wrist like some kind of Catbird girly, Carrie is able to finish the audiobook, and a pomeranian leads Seema back to her Birkin. The euphoria I felt when she found the bag reminded me of how I felt on my wedding day, this show has broken my brain. Carrie and Seema celebrate the end of a rough week by sitting at a communal table with ten Australian men who flirt with the ladies. And then we hear the greatest voiceover this show has ever had, “And just like that…I got COVID.” HAHAHHAHA. I love this show so much. See you next week.

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